It's Time To Talk Sports

I have always thought that baseball players are really just wimps. That assessment is based mostly on the fact that the DL in baseball always seemed to be much longer than the IR in football. How can that be? I see more guys getting hurt turning an ankle on first base, than guys getting hit by 250LB freight trains like Ray Lewis. If they accidentally left the kick-off tee on the field how many football players would limp off the field saying, "Dang coach I think I stepped wrong and tweeked a knee on the kicking tee." Maybe instead of bases they should all be plates, like home plate. You ever see anyone get hurt on home plate? Well maybe in little league, but that's only because for some reason the corner facing third base never seems to stay down in the dirt. If you've ever encountered one of those you know that you would rather ice skate on broken glass than round third and have that staring down the line at you.

So what is the deal with the term DL anyway? I mean really, the Disabled List? This sounds like something the DMV keeps to make sure you can park in a handicapped spot. "Hey, give Martha one of those blue thingies to put on her rear view mirror, she's on the DL." The Injured Reserve, now that's a place where real men go. The IR is more like a badge of honor. It almost has a military sound to it. It would be a disgrace to put a wounded soldier on the Disabled List, but on the Injured Reserve, sir yes sir.

Well after all these years I think I am going to have to give baseball players a break. Why now, you ask? Well mostly because I am now finding myself Day to Day because of a Wii injury. Have you played this evil game? I am one tennis match away from rotator cuff surgery. I have tennis elbow, arthritis, and carpal tunnel symptoms and I just got the Wii system three days ago. I have a Wii tennis match tonight against a doubles team named Ed and Carly, and I think I am going to need a cortizone shot. The pitcher Tommy John became famous for returning to baseball after having surgery on his elbow. That surgery is now referred to as Tommy John surgery. Kind of heroic in a way. But I'm afraid that one day thirty somethings are going to play their Wii, and then go to their doctor to inquire about Dave Coyne surgery. Not so heroic. And the worst part is that it is completely addicting. I am doing all that I can to get in playing shape for the match against Ed and Carly tonight. I know that I won't be able to lift my arm above my head tomorrow, but I sell candy for a living, and you can do that with your arms at your side.

I would love to write more but I have to get some electrolites in me and study some film on Ed and Carly.

As Dan Patrick once said on Sports Center, "He is listed as Day to Day, but aren't we all."

Welcome, Bienvenidos, Bienvenue

It is the Christmas season so what other way to start than to ask, "Was Jesus really born in Bethlehem?" Isn't that just a "Grinch Stole Christmas" kind of thing to say on December 23rd. Well I noticed on the news tonight that the Church of Jesus of Nazareth was closed because of the snow. So at Christmas mass at the Church of Jesus of Nazareth, do they tell you that the wise men went to Bethlehem to see the newborn Jesus? That's like going to Philadelphia to find the Baltimore Ravens. Something just doesn't add up. So here is something that Sr. Mary Steven Joseph probably didn't tell you in school. I was told that Mary and Joseph were traveling to Joseph's native village for the census and that's how they ended up in Bethlehem. This was about a 90 mile journey from Jerusalem, which in the first century BC was about a week. Now in 2009 doctors won't let women who are 9 months pregnant get on a plane, but Mary made it a week on a donkey? I've never given birth, but I've held a leg and yelled push, and I am pretty sure if I had suggested a donkey ride to the hospital I would have been in the ER. So get this. It turns out that there is a Bethlehem just around the corner from Jerusalem. So could there have been some confusion? If the early Christians were in the USA, they may have written that Jesus was from Miami, after all he is Jewish!! They would have built huge Christian Cathedrals all over south Florida only to later find out that he was from Miami, OH like Ben Roethlisberger. Doesn't the Bethlehem just outside of Jerusalem make more sense? Well it creates a huge problem for the new Christians. The Jewish texts all say that the Messiah will come from Judea. The Bethlehem that we all recreate in our Nativity scenes is in Judea. The Bethlehem near Jerusalem is in Galilee. So were the early Christians telling stories to satisfy the Jews and gain followers? If they had told them that Jesus was born in Galilee would there be more dreidels and less jingle bells? Would Charlie Brown have been a blockhead for selecting a subpar Menorah for the Hannukah pageant? This is just a thought to keep you on your toes while you are singing The First Noel at Christmas mass.